JL: Over the years I've been playing a lot of NES with my homeboy Alfredo and he always has some sort of provoking comment to share about whichever game we're playing at the moment. I've heard everything from Pinbot is a 'flashy fake fool' to how Mario 'ain't got a chance in beating up Kooper for reals especially when he's dressed in payaso ropa.' Now that we have a platform for discussion, I feel as if now is the right time to get extended thoughts from the man himself. Prepare yourself as we're going to be sharing how he would handle himself in certain select NES titles for your reading pleasure.

River City Ransom

HA: I don't understand this one man. You said this is called Street Gangs or something in Europe? I'll be straight with you: what does Europe know about gangs, man? Is this what they were going for? I tell you something man I'll be real with you here: this Alex guy... he comes down to my hood off Ocean in the LBC, he wouldn't make it to the 7-11. Straight up. I ain't playing. Alex you a scrub. Real Chafa. You aint tough, holmes. Chale. Happy Days is over ese. The only shark you gonna jump is me and you're just a small fish in the big Ocean Blvd, man. I don't need no gimmicks, I don't need to play with toys to take you down. I got my fists you know what I'm sayin'? I don't need no books to learn how to throw down. Ey yo Alex, you ain't ready for the Raza Latino Heat Elbow Fiesta courtesy of Eddy Guerrero brought down to the asphalt by Big Freddie! It'll be OVER before you can even turn a page in your square book worm whack pinche nerd nonsense. I'll make sure to give your fine mamacitas Roxy & Cyndi a good time in mi barrio while your strawberry booty is laying flat and we're kicking back cervezas in my pad!

Super Mario Bros. 3

JL: How do you feel about King Koopa from Super Mario Bros. 3? Is he as fierce as he appears?

HA: Imma level with you, I ain't got no beef with Kooper. He's the real deal, ese. True machismo, que suave, a real snappy dresser and a true, leader, holmes. Orale! The biggest problem and biggest joker in the game is that fake naco loco sun. Now I love heading down to the playa, kicking back some brews, chasing some honeys, getting that warm sun, but this vato goes way too far. For reals man, he ain't hot. He ain't all that. He tries to be a vato loco coming in all hyped up and cracked out, but tell you the truth, he face is all up in my business, so I gotta make sure the sun goes down, James Brown. You see Mario needs his hongos, diablo magica, and turtle shells to force the sun set. Chale! It's gonna be sunset when I unleash the power of my 562 carnals and deliver la final patada right into the stratosphere and collect my 100 points! Ey yo, Marios, I know we don't problems, but the princess, she's coming home with me, fool!

Friday the 13th

JL: I know you're a big horror film fan, but would you agree that the counselor's approach to defeating Jason is the correct one? Who would you beat him down?

HA: